Are you curious about Tantric Sex but don’t know where to start? This beginner’s guide to tantric sex is for you.
I remember the first time I discovered Tantra. I was looking for a tool to enhance my sexuality and drop the body armor. I’d developed that shell after living ten years in Japan, a country with low libido. Tantra proposed a solution to my dilemma. It has indeed transformed my life and improved my sexuality and my spirituality. I’m not the only one. Tantra has revolutionized the sex lives of many individuals in the world.
- What is Tantra and Tantric Sex
- Benefits of Practicing Tantric Sex
- 4 Easy Steps to Start Having Tantric Sex Today
- Tantric Sex Positions and Rituals
- What are the differences between regular sex and tantric sex?
- Behind the scenes – What no one talks about
- Final Words
If you’re curious about Tantra and would like to learn how to start having incredible sex, keep reading. This article is for you. I have dedicated my life to attain a considerable body of wisdom and knowledge about Tantra. And I hope that you will have a better sex life after reading this article. I will share tantric tools and techniques that can help you spice up your sex life and create juicy intimacy with your partner.
Tantric sex can be a gateway to some of the best sexual experiences of your life. But before diving into the details, I want to note that Tantra goes far beyond the sexual union. Tantra is a way of living. It is a spiritual path to higher consciousness. It’s a pathway to more love, self-love, love for the world we live in, and especially love in our relationships.
First, let’s understand what Tantra is and what can make sex “tantric.”
What is Tantra and Tantric Sex
Tantra is a cosmo-vision, a way of understanding life that comes from India. In the West, Tantra is primarily associated with sex, but that’s not what Tantra was originally about. In Sanskrit, “tan” means “to expand” and also “to unite,” while “tra” means “tool.” Tantra is a “tool for expansion and connection.” So, Tantra is a practice that brings loving partners together for a deeper connection and expansion.
When you practice tantric sex, you connect on physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels. Sex becomes a sacred tool for expansion.
Why is Tantra often misunderstood as sex? In Tantra, no guilt or shame surrounds a person’s sexuality. It teaches us that in order to be a “complete person,” no part of us should be ignored, including our sexuality. In that regard, sex becomes sacred, something to be explored, enjoyed, and celebrated.
Benefits of Practicing Tantric Sex
There are plenty of benefits of practice tantra sex.
Some people might feel very disconnected from their lover and from sex itself. It could even become an uncomfortable or painful experience. It doesn’t have to be.
With Tantra, you can cultivate deep desire and passion in the bedroom. You can feel amazing and blissful pleasure in your body and reach higher states of arousal. The practice will get you dripping wet or hard and erect.
Tantric sex is particularly good for people who :
- Struggle to get aroused or to orgasm;
- Desire to have full-body, multiple, and more intense orgasms;
- Enjoy a passionate, hot, sexy, and intimate connection with yourself and your lover.
Tantric sex supports the physical, energetic, psychological, and spiritual connection between two lovers. Tantric sex raises collective consciousness by cultivating our creative life force energy.
During tantric sex, we see our lovers as divine beings worthy of love, respect, and worship. We focus on cultivating love and reverence for the person with whom we are sharing our tantric sex experience.
Tantric sex becomes a sacred sexuality practice that can deepen our pleasure. It also improves the relationship and intimacy between partners.
4 Easy Steps to Start Having Tantric Sex Today
So, how do you start enjoying the benefits of tantric sex? It is very simple. Tantric sex is not about what you do but how you do it. Follow the 4 easy steps below to start having tantric sex.
- Set up your love temple
In Tantra, the concept of the love temple is very important. Turn your bedroom into a love temple. Tidy it up and decorate it with beautiful items like cushions, silky sheets, and comfy blankets. Light scented candles and put on pleasurable music to create a relaxing ambiance. Burn some incense or infuse some essential oils. You might also want to have some light snacks and drinks like chocolate, strawberries, or warm tea.
- Warm each other up
Take a shower or a bath and wear some sexy underwear. Then, invite your partner to your love temple and start connecting. Offer each other a tantric massage to wake up your senses, and shower each other with kisses and cuddles. Warm up your body and allow sexual energy to rise up and down in cycles. Don’t converse during this time; just make sounds of pleasure or share intentions and loving words.
- Breathe in rhythm
When we’re aroused, we tend to constrict or hold our breath. During tantra sex, make sure to breathe deeply and slowly. Breathing helps you move sexual energy in your body.
Sit on the bed and face your partner while you breathe in rhythm. Alternate with moments of eyes closed and moments when you look into each other’s eyes.
Breathing together allows you to naturally synchronize your breathing and feel more in tune with each other. Make sure to take a deep abdominal breath in to spread the sexual energy.
- Slow down
When we have sex, we can easily lose ourselves in the heat of the moment. We rush into the experience in order to have an orgasm as everything moves fast. What happens when we give in to these deep erotic experiences? Most of the time, they are more disappointing than satisfying.
Tantric sex slows everything down. Foreplay is extended. Kissing is endless. Each stroke is slow and sensual, becoming a way to tease each other. Tantric sex is your moment to play with pleasure. Once penetrative sex begins, remember to slow down. The more time you take, the more mind-blowing your orgasm will be.
Tantric Sex Positions and Rituals
Tantra uses rituals to increase the emotional, physical and spiritual connection with another.
The Daily Devotion
Practice slowing down by using the “Daily Devotion” position. Each time you spend the night with your partner, take 5 to 10 minutes in the morning to spoon each other. One giving partner inserts his penis into the other partner and stays there while breathing together. The receiving partner squeezes the penis without making any other movement.
Eye gazing ritual
Have you ever gazed at someone’s eyes and felt their Soul? This is why eye gazing rituals are so important in Tantra. They have the power to put you into a trance-like state and connect deeply with your partner.
Sit down and face your partner. Put your palms up and maintain eye contact while you breathe from your belly. After about 10 minutes, something magical usually happens. You and your partner’s breath synchronize, and you feel a deep sense of connection.
While you gaze at each other, imagine that your partner is an embodiment of a god or a goddess. You can also use a rabbit vibrator.
When you decide to move towards penetration, undulate your body to create a wavelike motion. Move your pelvis and squeeze your PC muscles – the muscles you use to stop the flow of urine.
Visualize the flow of energy coming up from your genitals through your spine and returning to your partner’s body. When you undulate, focus on bringing awareness to the divine essence of your partner. This will increase the sacredness of what you’re doing in the moment.
The Yab-Yum position
When we think about Tantra and Tantric sex, Yab-Yum is the position that comes to the mind of Westerners. In this position, you may or may not have intercourse. That is not the point. The point is to embrace and kiss each other passionately while breathing together and gazing into each other’s eyes.
To perform the Yab-yum position, one partner sits on the top and wraps their legs around the other’s waist. This position facilitates penetration if desired.
What are the differences between regular sex and tantric sex?
Tantric sex will increase your level of oxytocin-the love hormone. You will feel more connected and present with yourself and your partner.
1. Higher levels of oxytocin
One of the significant differences between regular sex and tantric sex is that tantric sex slows everything down. This, as you might guess, produces more oxytocin – that bonding love chemical. Stroking each other for extended periods of time or looking into each other’s eyes produces more oxytocin, making love feelings stronger. For this reason, you may stay in an aroused state for a longer period of time and even reach a state of transcendence or euphoria.
2. Stronger connection with yourself and your partner
Here is another difference. Unlike regular sex, which can sometimes keep us stuck in a performance-based mindset, tantra sex is about being vulnerable. It’s about allowing whatever we are experiencing to arise. When we know we are in a safe space to be vulnerable, we are more likely to be authentic and connect deeply to our partner.
3. More mindful
A tantra session is about being present and conscious of your experience without putting on a sexy show. When you have sex consciously, you bring your full presence and awareness to the experience. You are fully in the present moment, not distracted, absent-minded, or trying to multitask. Bringing such presence to sex allows you to experience everything more deeply and with more meaning.
Make sure to remove goals or agendas from your lovemaking, including focusing on the orgasm. As soon as we focus on the orgasm, we are no longer present. We’re ahead of ourselves. Tantric lovers actually forget about orgasm. It doesn’t mean that they don’t orgasm; quite the opposite. They orgasm abundantly and effortlessly.
Behind the scenes – What no one talks about
There is one practice that is common among tantric practitioners, yet no one talks about it. It’s a bit taboo. Let me break the taboo for you.
During tantric sex, some practitioners consume wine in a moderate quantity to relax the mind. Wine reduces inhibitions and alters the state of consciousness.
While in these states, Maithuna – the sexual union in Sanskrit – is seen as a ritual to recreate the unity of god and goddess Shiva/Shakti at a physical level. The goal is to access divinity and oneness. We then reconstruct the first act of creation, the creation of the Universe.
I personally don’t recommend this variant. I encourage you to focus on the connection with your partner.
I hope this article inspires you to keep exploring Tantra and give tantric sex a go. Turn your lovemaking into a ritual, which starts with a sacred space. Bring sacredness into your intimate connection. Experience the amazing magic and power of a tantric connection in the bedroom.